Fitting Room Nightmare

I have an event this weekend that I am quite excited about, and I have stupidly put off buying a dress for it until this late stage. So I shall be trawling the shops every lunch break and after work all week until I find something 'with a splash of white' as the invite suggests.

I did not get off to a good start yesterday. I went to a department store in the city, a fairly well known Australian department store (no, not Target) in order to peruse a number of different collections all in one hit. I found the only two dresses in the entire store that were white and not completely hideous and ventured into the changing rooms.

One sexy little Sass and Bide number was whipped on and then directly off again at lightening speed due to it being wrong on so many levels. So that left one option, not the ideal dress I had in mind, but a very simple shift, a little bit chic, a little bit fun and a little bit sparkly, a little bit Hepburn and a LOT expensive.

Oh well, I'll give it a whirl, I thought. It was one of those zip down the side under the arm jobbies due to its lovely snug and shapely fit but lack of stretch. It slipped on nicely and once zipped up it looked 10 times better than it had on the rack, I was quite pleased and satisfied that I looked pretty good in it, but the stripes of sequins were not really doing it for me enough to shell out the cash there and then. I'll pop it back and keep it in mind as a last resort.

Now this was at about 4:10pm.

Fast forward to 4:12pm... Oh S#%@! How do you get it off?!

4:13... Sequins... falling... seams...popping....

4:16... OK, just keep cool... lets try another approach...

4:17... F*%$#! F&*^! SH#@! BOLL@KS!

4:18... Oh it's really hot and stuffy in here... arms are tired... perspiration forming...I feel faint...

4:19... Is that a sales person I hear out there?? PLEEEASE don't remember that I am in here... go away...GO AWAY!

4:19:30... Phew she's gone. Now if I can just wriggle the lining up a bit with my pinkie... while I dis...lo...cate... AAAAAAAAAAGHH... I am going to have to pay for it. Its the only way. Rip it off, confess, and part with lots of cash for nothing.

4:21... Text to the Boy Person: "Stuck in dress, send help"

4:21:15... Reply from Boy Person: " :D "

4:21:30 Thanks love. Really helpful.

4:23... Don't start crying, there must be a way, you got it on easily enough...

4:24... Wriggle... pant... squeeeeze... puff.... YES! OH THANK YOU GOD, ALLAH, ZEUS, MICK JAGGER, JOHNNY DEPP.... All you gods out there that I prayed to... Thank you.

4:24:30... Dress still OK, QUITE a few sequins on the floor though.

4:25... OMG! Who is that monster in the mirror?! I look like I've just had THE best shag of my life. SERIOUS bed hair, sweaty red face, boobs have escaped from bra in the struggle...

4:26... OK, dressed, hair brushed, face less red, make up smear on dress hidden.. Go go go!

4:28... I made it. I am free! Free from the dress, free from the store, free from buying the stupidest dress I have EVER had the misfortune to try on.


I mean really, that has to be a serious design flaw. I would just like to clarify here, that the dress was a lovely fit, it slipped on easily enough, it was NOT too small for me.

So why could I not get it off? I mean, there was no warning label "This dress requires a shoe horn and an assistant to help remove it in one piece" and I am sure it was from the 'Ready to wear' collection, not the 'Ready to wear... Once, and then cut it off with a pair of scissors' collection.

Or was it designed with the confidence that any woman who wore it would look SO good that as soon as she went out in it, men would immediately fall all over her, seduce her and then ultimately tear it off with their teeth?

Who knows. All I know is that it was the most terrifying fitting room experience of my life.

So my tip for you dear readers is this, if you see the dress below (under coat) on a rack anywhere... leave it there.

Fairytale Wedding

I absolutely adore every detail of this AMAZING wedding of Eunice (Hello Lucky Co-Founder and Creative Director) and Daniel… I would find it very difficult to NOT rip off all of the fantastical, magical and wonderful ideas used, should my time come to toddle off down t'aisle. Check out the details here and here.

Fridays Fancy

That's not a knife.. THIS is a knife….

I have been terribly slack on the blog front this week, not for lack of news but mostly because I have been spending almost every spare moment at the gym in an attempt to work off the past two weeks of fabulous birthday indulgence and a number of nights out seeing more bands than I'm sure most people see in a year (ACADACA!!!!! more on that another day..)

Anyhoo… I thought I should pop in quickly so any readers out there know that I am still alive.

So, if you didn't think I had already done very well on the birthday present front, then this should make amends. On Saturday, I returned from a trip to Bunnings (I should have shares in that place, I LOVE it!) with my shiny new power drill (yes, MY power drill… I am the official pants wearer and man about the house in this relationship :)) to be greeted by the lovely Boy Person doing the old 'pick a hand' routine…. I chose the right and was presented with a knife sharpener. Hmm… exciting? No, not really… but then I noticed a little logo on it, a logo I was quite familiar with, a logo I had discovered whilst researching what the best kitchen knives were… And that logo, combined with cheeky grin on Boy Persons face, combined with the fact that left hand was still hiding something behind back resulted in a light bulb moment of sheer excitement and shouts of "NO WAAAAAY?!!?!" at which point that lovely Boy of mine presented me with the most beautiful thing I have ever seen (OK, well, most beautiful kitchen utensil I have ever seen)… My very own, brand spanking new, Wusthof knife!

So apart from working out, I have also been chopping, slicing and dicing at every opportunity I can get.

Alice in Wonderland

I cannot say enough about this wonderful wonderful film. It was quite simply superb. Go see it. Go see it now!

Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen, brilliantly evil….

Johnny Depp, the Genius Nutter...


Mia Wasikowska, a beautiful and almost grown up Alice….

Anne Hathaway, the nice but quirky White Queen...

Paul Whitehouse, the hilarious March Hare
And oh so many more adorable characters and performances. My favourite of the year so far, thanks Mr Burton! ♥

Eats

As I mentioned here, we decided to go to Nine Fine Foods for my Birthday dinner last weekend. I am so glad we did! It was absolutely stunning. More on that in a minute....

Before dinner, we decided to have a hit of tennis for an hour or so , you know, to 'earn' the calories we planned on consuming. So, after a bit of back and forth on instant messenger about where we would play (apparently, well, as I understood it) all the courts at our club were booked up for the evening. So after work I nip home, change into my tennis gear, then quickly pose for a 'Tennis Weekly' shoot....


.. What do you mean? Of course that is me!

Anyway, then I nip off to meet the Boy Person at the courts around the corner from our house, because of course, as Boy Person said, there were no free courts at our normal club. Looking forward to our game, I stand in the main meeting area doing lots of stretches and warm ups...

I called Boy Person to confirm that he was meeting me at the club rather than at home and yes, that was all sorted and he would be there in minutes. I waited, and waited, and waited...

So I called him, "how far away are you??... I'm here!... No you aren't!...I am so!..." and so on. I explained that I was waiting next to the shop, at which point he realised.... We were at different clubs.

Well, clearly there had been a misunderstanding, and CLEARLY it was HIS fault. So with that I stormed off home trying to ignore the looks from the 'ladies who lunch' who had been watching me and assuming I was being stood up.

On the way home though I started to giggle, was quite funny really and hey, we'd just have to start the birthday celebrations a bit earlier instead!

So we dolled ourselves up and headed over the road to our local for a pre dinner drink. And it was just our luck too, it just happened to be... Karaoke night! woohoo! [please note strong levels of sarcasm here]

But in actual fact, It was quite amusing. A rather scary looking group of dolled up old girls, who looked like they would be better suited sitting in the Rovers Return, and who clearly took their Karaoke nights very VERY seriously, rocked up and proceeded to warble and strut their stuff like there was no tomorrow (to be honest there may not have been in some of their cases).

After resisting the temptation to quietly tell one of the old ducks that she really wasn't pulling of the Tina Turner shift dress she was wearing, we headed off around the corner to Nine Fine Foods.

After perusing the menu we decided that the set menu was the yummiest and best value option. And we were right. The starter of mixed Sashimi was the best I've ever tasted and there was plenty of it, the next course was a delectable plate of seared Scallops and Duck, the main was a melt in your mouth beef fillet with a creamy mash and crisp fresh tempura veges. Then the desert, which was obviously their signature sweet, a Banana, Chocolate and Red Bean Spring roll with Chocolate ice cream. OMG it was DIVINE!

We washed all of that down with a couple of lovely chardonnays and headed back to check on Vera, Beryl, Betty and Hilda who were still rocking out the pub next door.

Next morning (Birthday) we were up at sparrows fart and headed off to try a cafe near us that I'd heard great things about. West End Deli. It is a great place, very rustic in its decor, chairs hang on the walls, and old cash register sits in the corner and the paint on the walls is peeling off by the metre. The coffee was the best I have had in Perth. That is no exaggeration, it is near on impossible to get a decent coffee (more so if you are a Wellingtonian like me and therefore used to THE best coffee in the world) and this one was fab.

For eats we both ordered the Smoked Salmon on brioche, with poached egg, coriander and a date and egg plant chutney. It was amaaaaaaaaazing.

I cant wait to head back there to try some of the other delights on offer!

I've made myself hungry now.... so I'm off to get supplies for tea. Have a great weekend! ♥

Fridays Fancy

I could hardly let the week end without honouring the lovely Mike Patton of Faith No More as part of Fridays Fancy, could I? So here he is, in all his gloriousness....